Replication.

Faith and a relationship is shared between two- an individual and God.

Probably the reason I felt so frustrated after years of ministering and intentionally sharing about His goodness and not see God’s hand move is largely due to the fact that I tried to ask God to replicate my faith with you/ the other people around me. I forgot that God is sovereign and ultimately decides when and how a person returns to Him. I think it’s alright to share how God is speaking and moving BUT I cannot expect the similar thing to happen to someone else. Cannot limit who God is and what He can do.

From now onwards, I will be more prayerful to check my intentions with God. To know the reasons behind my sharing and to pray in faith that God can do an even mightier work than what I’ve got in mine in the lives of those around me.

Much insights lately. Most from reflection.

PS: Excited to spend Mightyg’s 21st on Friday! The first among us three to turn older. HEHE

A Different Season.

Tweeted hours ago that this is a season where I am gonna be stretched. Feels like there is a lot going on. The amount of stuff to be settled in ministry, the school workload, personal reflections and resolving issues, happy happenings. And I think I always tend to want to take it all in at once. Need to learn how to take it one at a time and spread things out. Not feeling overloaded to be honest. But keen on settling everything all at one shot.

Hello Sheena, you’re not a superwoman nor an octopus. 1 brain, 1 pair of hands and 1 pair of limbs. Relax. HAHA

On a sidenote, it was the first time I was super late for school today. Class started at 9AM but was still at the gramps at 845AM. Long story. But only managed to step into class at 945AM. So thankful that I managed to mark my attendance still! (SMA has this new enforced rule that you’ll be marked absent 15 minutes into lesson, kinda like the old NP 15 mins grace thing) And found out that research paper is a group thing and that we don’t actually have to base our results on the surveys/particpation observation. That’s less work of 180 surveys and observing large amounts of people.

WOO God is good! :D

PS: Bought myself Beard Papa and farts bought me gongcha. What a motivation to get through this 1 month of reflection and sorting out of thoughts. Never my strength to sit down and think through stuff so I’m still learning. I’m glad He’s a huge part of this journey.

 

Capacity.

It’s 1130PM on a Saturday night and I’m gonna try to get some work done before I sleep. A first in years of crashing after a long day’s of ministry in church!

Going to try to manage everything on my plate for now. Am convinced that if I stick close to God, I will not burn out.

Family, studies, ministry, social life. Using my time most effectively in loving and studying (no choice haha!) and storing treasures in heaven.

God is good. Life is good

One Kind of Smelly.

The kind of nonsense between us. SMELLO (Y)

Can’t really sit still this Friday afternoon to get that weekly discussion board done. Actually 1.7/3 is not a good grade NEED TO PULL UP MY SOCKS.

Perhaps I should go for a run instead. And at the same time scare all the other joggers away with my red hair.

Decisions!

Consistency.

All the assesments this semester seem to be on a weekly basis or fortnightly basis. Prof comm discussion board that is to be done every week on a different topic. Mid term papers. Screen texts screening and tutorial, not to mention the readings. Lots more here and there.

Need to pray that this consistency does not become a routine. I struggle to be excellent in things that are on a regular basis than a one-time-chiong-everything assignment.

Perhaps it’s the Sanguine nature which can’t stand routines. *whines*

Happy Mummy.

Find myself guilty of not spending time with the family and especially The Mother ever since my poly days. Secondary school days were the days of rebellion- so different story I guess?

Trying to make use of the time I have while I’m still studying to it’s best. And my commitment to prioritize my family at the start of 2012.

So.. glad that I managed to have lunch with The Mother yesterday and today! She jokingly asked ‘Why you keep eating lunch with me these days? No money ah?’ HAHA well it’s one thing that mum pays when we eat/go out together. But I think my motive was just to spend time with her. And it’s quite funny that she’s noticing the change. Good change!!

Appreciating my mum by going to Limbang (super near) for lunch, suggesting what she can cook for dinner, helping her carry her groceries, listening to her rant about work. This is the least I could do since I’m not earning anything yet.

Happy mum = Happy family. Very true equation.

Sheena Time.

You know when someone is thankful for surviving a week.. sometimes you can’t really empathize with the person cos you haven’t been through that same week. But yes, I’m thankful x1000 that I survived last week! It’s really by His grace that I managed to prepare cell, complete discussion board, write screen texts essay and do my part for the research paper. And stick close to Him through these all.

Well, I think it’s because I waited upon Him that’s why I could survive the week. Yes, No? Thank you God!

Anyhows, gonna intentionally spend some Sheena time this week by:

• Going for a haircut! (In desperate need of one! Before my fringe blind me)
• Catch up on the HK drama!!
• Eat x2 lunches with mum
• Repack clothes cardboard (mum says i need to chuck some clothes.. HOW!)

Okay I think that’s all, the others fall under ministry and school work. But I thank God that I don’t dread doing all (ok most- scifi is still not cool) the work I’m doing. Passion is the key! *lights up*

PS: Need to be more intentional when planning my schedule. Cannot always let the Sanguine in me overpower. Need my rest time, need to honour my parents, need to try and divide my time appropriately. Haven’t met Superwomyn and the pigs in a looooooong time. AHHHHH.

PPS: Secretly looking forward to this weekend!

Rediscovering Love.

This is how I know He loves me

Thank God for His love through real and tangible ways too. Smells was an angel today! (actually everyday la) Had major cramps and sat at the food centre whining about how my cramps are killing me. And she offered to get me my lunch! She’s someone that always remember my picky food habits. No veg u-mian for Sheena!

And, got a HD for that comm research 5% assignment. Was quite sian about the previous assignment cos I only got a credit. Tweaked this assignment within 5 minutes and like thank God! Lecturer showed me favour man. Cited one of the reference wrongly and she was still lenient. God’s grace through a human! WHEEE

And now as I finished my QT and thank Him for His goodness, the cramps is gone. Just in time for me to start on Screen Texts Essay.

Quite a hectic week. Don’t understand why schools like to cram assignment deadlines all in a week. But yes, we’ll survive!!

Lost Sight?

Going through a season where I rediscover what it means to be loved by God. It is pretty much the basics and roots of Christianity.  But I think through the years of being a Christian, I’ve forgotten or probably lost sight of the true value of His love. And it has been my prayer that He redefine His love and reveal it through His word and tangible ways.

So, intentionally journalled in this format ‘I know God loves me because…’

1. He sent Jesus to die for my sins. Thanksgiving of my life! Don’t know how else I can be alive with all the mistakes I’ve made. (John 3:16)

2. I am chosen by Him and I belong to Him. (1 Peter 2:9)

3. He accepts me even despite my brokenness. I don’t have to try to be okay in front of Him. I can be vulnerable. (Psalm 51)

4. He is with me always. (Isaiah 41, Psalm 23)

He is the only one that can love me in such a measure. Really the love from 1 Cor 13. So.. unfailing.

-

In the tangible ways that I can see with my Earthly eyes.

1. Ministry that is filled with potential! The pudding leaders are super responsible and their love for God and their sheep really encourages me! Really privileged to serve alongside Bradley in leading these bunch of leaders.

2. Earthly parents that love me. My family is not perfect. There are grumpy days where somebody is unhappy which results in everybody getting unhappy. But, the parents are super on to hold a 21st party! Mum says they will pay. WOW. I didn’t exactly ask for a party cos Godpa suggested it.. And like mum seems more excited than me. Maybe cos her 21st was TOO long ago? HAHA

3. Favor! So thankful for Fang Yu that gave me a head start for my Screen Texts essay.

I’m surrounded by so many people that love me. And, these are all angels that God has placed in my life.

And when I see how much He loves me, I think the only natural reaction is to want to love Him back however I can.. Works the same with friendships and relationships, no?