Emotional Roller Coaster.
The past 1 week has been crazy. Things have been changing at a crazy rate and I think my heart can’t keep up with it.. And it frustrates me even more that I can’t prioritize what I ought to at this season. But, coping with that.
But I still thank God. He has sent assurances in many sorts. The distinction in the Media Audiences mod was just timely to appease my mum for being not physically present at home for the last few days. But really, it wasn’t what I wanted as well right?
I also thank God for Smelly for taking out 3.5 hours of her precious time just to help me sort out my thoughts. Asking me questions and deriving conclusions. I am so blessed to have a friend like her 
Of course, Grace too.
Above all, I know that this season or episode is happening in His time. Can’t see how this works out. But sometimes, we don’t have and won’t be able to fully grasp His thoughts and plans right.. So yes, clinging onto Him for my dear life now.
2012.
1 thing I want to be inconsistent in.
- Relying on myself, the amount of strength/wisdom/it goes on I have without relying on Him. This will push me to rely on Him more for the different areas of my life.
2 areas that I want to be consistent in.
- In my prayer life. I don’t just want to pray but I also want to pray and believe that He is able to move! *Refer to 2/3 posts down*
- Being intentional in reaching out to the people around me- doing small/great things for them like how Jesus would for them and reflect His love for them through all these actions.
3 desired areas of growth.
- Grow me as a leader as I serve as a Region Leader and place Him in the centre of the ministry. Grow in knowledge/skills and also the love I have for the sheep. Expand my capacity for his sheep and help me to manage the different priorities.
- Grow my faith as I watch Him move with the answered prayers and as I experience His goodness and favour in my life.
- Grow me to become a daughter/sister and use me mightily at home. To do more for the family and prioritizing time with them above myself/school/ministry.
There is no parallel structure in the pointers (Ms Nora has taught Awesome 5 to be anal like that) but this is a record of how I want to grow in this 2012 and we’ll check back again. Especially excited for the prayer part! OH YEAH 
Communication.
Was telling Smello of the irony of me taking a comms degree but the level of communication between us is close to 0. Haha, oh wells. I believe yesterday was a good start.
Lesson to learn is to not attach value to someone based on the outcomes of decisions made. It might 20% effort from Person A to settle a situation but 100% effort from Person B and I need to learn how not to compare. Need to stop saying ‘Why can’t you just face it?’ and ‘Can I help you solve it?’. Everybody is wired differently and I just got to trust that you know what you’re doing. Well, at least for now. Now that you’re trying.
Time of growth, I know and pray. Patience Sheena, patience.
Part II.
Semester 2/4 of Uni life begins tomorrow and I’m pretty much still in the holiday mood. AHH. Need to adjust back to school life again and embrace all the assignments that comes along with it. Praying for favour, responsible lecturers and wisdom this semester! Need His help to balance both ministry and school too. Quite excited actually!
Thank God for 2PM lessons on Tue and Wed! WOO!
Mustard Seed > Mountains.
God has been extremely faithful in my life in 2011. Though it feels like the year went pass in a flash, so much has happened! So many transitions. From an intern at Dialogue in the Dark to an OL for a tiny period of time to completing the first semester of University life @ Murdoch. Being able to complete this year and survive it is already a testimony of the grace of God. And being able to testify of His favour, mercy, grace and love.. Just shows how real and good He is in my life!
Entering 2012 with a whole lot of excitement and fear. Such mixed feelings. Huge changes in responsibility in ministry, 3 full semesters of school. It’s gonna be crazily packed yet exciting!
Ps Ronald’s prayer during Leader’s Retreat really did strike something within me. It’s time to have faith in Him so that He can do even greater and mightier things through me. I think especially in this 2012, I want to be able to pray AND believe that great and mighty things can be done in my life and the lives of the people around me with Him!
I want to pray and believe that my friends’ heart will be softened towards God and be saved. I want to pray and believe that my friends will turn their hearts back to You and rededicate their lives to you. I want to pray and believe that my sheep will be able to journey with You and be able to experience the fruits of their ministry as of His grace in 2012. I want to pray and believe that you will be able to use me to speak to my 2 mentees as I journey with them.
These are the ‘mountains’ and all I need is the faith as small as a mustard seed, in Him.
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Body crashed on me after 1 crazy month of back to back programs. And after a good night’s rest, I’m ready to go again! Meeting CJW and Png for lunch. Been ages since I managed to talk to them! (Y) to friends living close by and spontaneous meet-ups!
20th.
I think the hype of birthdays wear off as the years go by. Well, at least for me. But I think birthday is a special time when you feel extra loved by the people around you! So glad to be surrounded with such people in my life
The kukup trip with SHIFT was the coolest thing ever! Seriously, how often do you get to travel with your cell, stay in the same house and play with fireworks? Love how crazily on they are! It was the best way to end the year with the cell. Glad we managed to share crazy moments and our fears and thoughts of 2012. This, is my 2nd family in 2011.
Amy surprised me with this 11 page long birthday card at 12mn! Can you imagine the amount of hard work and effort involved? Gotta love handwritten cards!!
Anyhows, the card recorded all the SHIFT moments and individual meet-ups and breakthroughs I had with that dear girl. And I realized how much time I’ve devoted to the cell in 2011. It’s like they are my 2nd family, really! And, I’m just so blessed to know that I’ve left a mark in a few of their lives this 2011. Great joy knowing that they’ve grown and enjoyed their time in the cell!
Like what I shared with Amy, it’s not wrong to feel sad to leave SHIFT 2011. In fact, I think it’s a sign of the tight bonds that the cell has built and share! But I also told her that we’ve got to leave our comfort zone in order to be better stretched and reach out to more people effectively.
So yes, just like how I still love the youths in Foolz I very much.. It will be the same for SHIFT. They have definitely left a mark in my life too.
PS: Already excited to watch the youths in my previous cells rise up and lead the younger ones in R-AGE. Gonna attend Realign- Leaders Retreat 2011 with so many of these folks! Definitely enjoying the fruits of my ministries! Thank you God
Wedding Bells.
There was a more happening than usual conversation over at the gramps’ this evening. And so, Xinni Jie Jie is getting married in May! It feels too surreal. Remember how we used to have sleepovers and how she would bribe me with Archie comics, to how I brought my boyfriends to her workplace to chat with her and now- she’s getting married! Super happy for her
It’s gonna be a simple affair and I’m excited to be a part of it! Looks like 2012 is gonna be a happening year!
Rested.
Monday’s paper went a hundred times better than Smells and I expected. Just glad that we’ve finally cleared this horrible module! Pray that we won’t get that lecturer again in the coming semesters. It really pushes self-learning to the highest level with her around. Thank God its over!!
Finally got a day off today without having to travel between exams and extra lessons. Wanted to start packing the bag for the Malacca trip and study for the test tomorrow. BUT the body is forcing me to take a break. This is much to the relief of the friends around me. Might not be a bad thing, afterall. (considering the super packed Dec schedule from next week ownwards. looking forward already!)
Anyhow, got a glimpse of Smells at work yesterday when I accompanied her as she mystery shopped. It’s not as cool as it sounds. Well, the eating of all the food part was. Thanks Smells for the potato salad! But it’s kinda tiring in a way too. Zooming between shops, getting those you-owe-me-ten-thousand-dollars face. Really salute that woman for juggling work and school. Not easy. *inserts love for smello*
Okay! Rested for the whole afternoon already. Shall go make myself productive NOW. WOO!
Heart of Gratitude.
In an attempt to memorize the theories for tonight’s paper, I’m up early in the morning. 9AM is quite early for me, considering that I’m a night person.
There’s like 101 things to thank God for even before the busy period is over. I think He has been very faithful and good to me!
1. Thank God for a family that encourages and supports! Mum prepared Chicken Essence before Sat’s paper and Dad offered to give me $ to take a cab to school
2. Thank God for favour! Lecturer from pre-requisite module agreed to release Smells & I 45 minutes earlier. She didn’t have to, but she agreed!
3. Thank God for SHIFT Dragged my tired body to G2 and teaching after a paper is not cool. But I pray that they’ve learnt something! Wanted to just head home after cell and like crash immediately. But.. I only get to see them ONCE a week. Probably the last few chances we get to hang out as a cell in this manner.. (save more of that for those end of year posts haha!) I thank God for the wonderful sheepies in SHIFT. They really make my day! *bursts with love*
4. Thank God for cream cheese and raisin bread. HAHAHA it was my motivation to complete memorizing 2 chapters last night!
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Okay, gonna meet moo for lunch later and rest my brain before taking the paper!
I can’t wait to finish school till Thursday so I can say that His grace has brought me through everything.
God is sooooo soooo good!
